A Lonely Disconnect Between An Inspiration And Art

As a songwriter, and as a romantic, it is not uncommon that I find an inspiration in something I see or hear or someone who bounces into me. And I never write something to aim solely at communicating to anyone in particular for I hope to paint a melody or song in such a way that it can be taken into an individual on their individual basis.  I’m sure there are dozens of my favorite songs when growing up that my interpretation of them would make those songwriters wretch.  But the disparity between how I heard them and invested my feelings and story into them and how a story actually brought them to life through them should not be a source of anything but happiness for us both.

Yet the rub as a songwriter can be how when anyone actually associated with the genesis of a song thought actually encounters the finished product however many years or decades later, when they don’t get it or simply can’t take it in at all, there is this awful sense of loss that can infest a song if I’m not careful.

For me anyway, songwriting should remain a one way street with audience participation being about how they receive it, if at all – and NOT about any sense of my satisfaction if they do or don’t ride the same road I thought they would inside of me.  I suppose one nice thing about the infinitesimal and glacially slow progress my recordings have made in generating plays and listens over the past dozen years is that it has allowed me time to record and enjoy making the music without having to embrace this lonely disconnect as much as road performing songwriters do.  My ability to avoid having a song performance interrupted by a cell phone going off, or hearing crickets to the best melody in a song while then watching a wild acceptance of some part of another song I know was weak and didn’t measure up to my mind’s ear – both of these pains I’ve been somewhat spared by anemic success thus far.

I accept how this may actually have been a giant blessing from God as regards my continued songwriting.