I finally finished a book project long in the back of my mind, thematically.
The Anatomy of an Affair project represents a body of work that spans eight plus years of effort across five main artistic modes of expression, namely, poetry, writing, musical composition, songwriting and graphic design. It has its own web page and associated links for purchase etc. CLICK HERE to have a look.
Meanwhile, thanks to all who worked on this with me. The list is long, but a few photos are included below.
In 2007 I recorded original music for a sailing documentary film project.
It was the first time I had been in a professional recording environment since the late 1970s. 30 years prior, as a teenager, I was asked to play keyboards for a band with a pipe-dream and saw first-hand how monumentally expensive and out of my reach was studio recording a song. Now 30 years later I discovered the modern digital recording world and began to learn my place in it.
During the summer of 2009, after finishing the sailing film project, I began recording my singer-songwriter songs in a professional studio. Over the next 3-4 years I worked part time, but devotedly, to record and release albums.
Soon I added a home studio partial setup for recording my acoustic Steinway grand piano in collaborations with studios and artists across the digital realm.
By 2013 the consistency and level of my music work had risen. This combined with an intentionality to get away from album song clusters and focus on each release individually led me to remove old works and rebrand.
Many of even my earliest recordings remain proud accomplishments which I did re-release, but there were a few I happily put on the cutting room floor. During this time I also enjoyed original score work for another short documentary film and found renewed inspiration not only to continue my singer-songwriter recording, but to go further with instrumental composition.
During the rebranding and shift of process in 2013, I made a studio and producer change that took my recording to Pennsylvania and studio musicians of the northeast. Now when recording I would cease all other business or work and focus entirely on the sessions. To me there was an immediate positive result, and the feel of my music coming back to me was more satisfying.
As of the end of 2018, there are 103 original studio artist songs, 39 instrumental works, and 14 covers or adaptations of covers behind me.
Over this weekend I enjoyed working with my son on recording a song of his. I put myself to work with all seriousness as a technician and “producer” with my home studio set up; focusing on him and his song in the same way that the good producers from my past have with me and mine.
And though I knew it already, producing and arranging a recording session is a completely independent art form. It is separate from the skill of arranging the music itself, or being a songwriter.
Now sure, it helps as a producer to understand, and to be able to hear the music not only as it is, but as it can become, etc. Sure, it helps to be able to know each instrument and its dynamic range. And I suppose in many ways the truly great producers are likely closet songwriters. But beyond all of that comes many other aspects to helping someone record.
In effect you must also channel your inner:
– coach – preacher – teacher – fan – critic – passerby – and more
And the exhaustion that ensues as you work in such a way with someone is utterly different than the spending of energy associated with being they guy performing and being recorded. I truly enjoyed doing it with my son and look forward to next week when we go at it again. In addition, I am happy to report how working with my ears, and the +s and -s of the digital arena, and the cables and the mics, and the art of finding the sweet spot for a mic placement in a wood room all helped re-inspire me as a songwriter. I’m not sure how it will sound when it finds its way back into my muse, but briefly being a producer helped my inner songwriter.
Recently, I’ve been infected with a VERY long-term seed that finally has germinated into a song. It had its roots in my learning to play a portion of the beginning of the Adagio movement of the Brahms Piano Concerto #1 in D. Originally, he composed that section as a 2 piano piece, but later was encouraged to create a string concerto. Somewhere along the line I encountered the two-piano score and learned the first 35 measures or so of the Adagio section. They contain a piano lament that has always stirred my soul.
For many years, when playing it, I always kept hearing a solo vocalist with a choir behind him, and eventually lyrics began to bubble up. But these things I kept hearing, I beat them down for years, telling myself that no one should dare to insult Brahms by inserting a single note or thought atop his theme. But as I’ve enjoyed many choir concerts, from Florida All State ensembles to college concert choirs, and heard many times how classical themes become adapted and as such help to keep them alive in young minds, I found this old idea of mine resurfacing with increasing insistence upon my muse.
Finally, I could resist no more and wrote this adaptation of a Brahms theme for solo tenor and choir. As a piano lover, I have taken as much priority as I dare to keep the piano as the anchor about which the voice and choir are in orbit. One of my goals was to make it such that if a vocalist misses a note, the song would survive and yet if the piano player flubs it there would be virtual collapse.
The peculiar ability in Brahms to sometimes sound as if he is falling up in the most inspiring and heart-wrenchingly sad way is for me a deep beauty I hope to have kept alive in my “Cannot Stop Myself”.
Listen at: CLICK HERE
Contact for score at: CLICK HERE
I am increasingly embracing a personal prioritization reboot when it comes to my artistic endeavors. In a nutshell, I am challenging myself to get back into making my art as the higher priority, and trying to market or sell it as a lessor one.
This goes in the face of many who suggest the exact opposite should be my next course. And I readily admit how many of them have works that I admire and that surely have penetrated into the lives of more of our planet’s billions of inhabitants; more than likely are any of mine. My decision to refocus on my creations rather than doubling down on past works’ promotions is not born of laziness, for I have and continue to work hard at outreach and always trying to communicate with anyone in the world of music, prose, or the larger art world. It is not my feeling dejected or depressed for I actually feel good inside about the issue as I debate it in my head. It is not my feeling sorry for myself or trying to illicit pity from you or anybody, for I detest such gigantic waste.
For me, at least, the issue has become one of sensing an atrophy of my piano playing ability, or my guitar progress as I’ve spent so much time on trying to promote that surely has driven down my practice time and communication with my muse.
Being an organized sort of man (often to the point of near-neurosis which artists are prone to do), I have spreadsheets galore and the resulting near paralysis of analysis regarding the size and scope of my comparative lack of success with my art. And I find that of late, I have more pages in my notes about my work in marketing my artworks than I have pages of actual artwork afoot. This will not do.
I’ve had to ask myself quite clearly: Is success to me completing the next 100 songs and literary projects which inspiration has come upon me for, or is it reaching thousands of people (or even millions) who might enjoy artworks already done? At least for the next year or so, I find myself smiling and inwardly saying, “shut up and play.” With the added caveat of ‘I play for myself’. I have always enjoyed small coffee house soiree’ playing more than stadiums – in fact I practically always detest large group behavior… so for me… shut up and play becomes a don’t even look up while you’re playing kind of a feeling.
In sailing, there are many lessons learned on the boat which can easily apply to life, and many come from the ropes themselves. Of course, sailing snobs will attack you for calling a “line” a rope, but let’s forgive them in advance.
In learning the ropes, one will uncover special situations, special knots to use, and which knots become rapidly permanent after bearing a strain. But inside all of that, plus the callouses which arrive on your hands after a time, is the idea that each piece of rope becomes more and more precious the further from shore you get. And the idea of losing a piece of rope due to mis-management becomes more egregious indeed when you might as well be a million miles from a replacement.
One lesson is never to cut a line which could be untied. The knife or hatchet is a last resort. And cutting is destructive to hundreds of potential future uses. Like cutting wood when building something to fit, you can always take away a bit more, but you can never add back. Life lesson metaphors abound if one applies this to relationships.
Another lesson comes in the form of being neat, tidy, and ship shape with your lines. To a sailing newbie, taking the time to coil and stow a line may seem needless when it appears to be in no one’s way at all. But then again, it is in nobody’s way now, when the ship is flat and the sea is calm. Yet, later if the seas are bucking, and the deck is awash, and that line now stretches out across the deck it will either be whipping around and beating you to death, or wrapping around something you desperately need to move in a hurry, etc. Properly stowing a line is like a bachelor making his bed before leaving for work. You never know when the day will be that you meet someone and decide to bring them home.
The summary: Make your bed, stow your lines, and don’t cut a line except as a last resort.
Many people have a fascination with speed. And the sports world is filled with all sorts of races – the ever pressing need to establish a new speed record. And I suppose the human condition has been lifted due to the ambition for fame, fortune, or success with chicks by proving how one is the “fastest man alive”. Automobiles may indeed be safer due to the many racers who died in seemingly needless crashes while attempting to prove their mettle.
Conversely, I remember as a kid being told “Slow and steady wins the race” and the example of the tortoise and the hare, etc. Sure, over-confidence and sleeping on the job before the race is done is certainly a recipe for failure. But as life has marched on, I anecdotally might observe how despite how there may be an exception where the slow and steady might succeed in some areas requiring long-term commitment, there are a myriad of instances in life where fast and daring wins the prize and slow and steady gets you dead.
Now I’m as romantic as the next fellow, perhaps even more so than the average bear. However, when I used to people-watch at a country western honky-tonk where I was employed for a good many months, I noticed many slow and steady fellows losing out with the ladies to the “fast and furious” set. The gentle easy going guys were not terribly worried about it, but (again anecdotally noted here) many a girl could be swept unto the whimsy of the night by a speedy and daring nitwit. And careful slow-moving slow-talking fellows often finished in the “alsorans”.
Ok, what is my point? Good question. … Not sure really. But there it is… Enjoy.
It is rather odd how people have come to treat the word “free” in that some of them really believe that a promotional item doesn’t cost something. Many people remain obtuse to the idea that, truly, no man-made product is free. It either costs you something in the form of time, energy, or information given, or it costs you something in that it becomes a possession of yours, however briefly. Plus, it also cost somebody else something in the form of capital invested and/or marketing moneys spent etc. But there is no thing made by man that is free….. period exclamation point!
People, particularly Americans it seems to me, are so often duped by this ploy. “Free valet parking with your meal” the sign says… Oh really, do you really think those boys running back and forth and parking your car just do it for fun? You must know they have insurance right? Well, it is included in the price of the meal, you say – duh. Or maybe you’re the cheapskate who doesn’t tip them, but someone else (a big spender) will over tip and you really “got away with one” eh? Folks, any time you see “free” on something associated with another product, be it a meal, or a conference center bag full of goodies, stop and realize that you are being played. And if the steak at the restaurant with “free valet parking” costs $1.00 more than the competitor chain that has no such service, for heaven’s sake realize it.
Just the words “yours” or “mine” imply possession which implies a sense of property which obviously entails a connection with you. If it is “yours” or you refer to it as “mine” then it is no longer free at all. Now you may have the freedom to discard it quickly, or to “give” it to someone else and likewise dispose of it, but it still occupies space in your world and as such has value, no matter how infinitesimal that may be. If you make an experiment and tell yourself not to accept anything free for 1 week, just see how long you last. But so too, enjoy re-setting your compass to true north on this issue. And the next time you have free valet parking, give the kid a $5er so you’re not the douchebag.
The antithesis of wisdom is sometimes thought to be ignorance. However, this can be disproved by how there are so many well-educated and knowledgeable people who are still lacking in wisdom.
Since wisdom is often accompanied by humility, the antithesis of wisdom is sometimes thought to be confidence. However, this can be disproved by how many times truly wise people can speak with great confidence and conviction.
No, the opposite of wisdom is pride.
One can be wise and still lack certain worldly items of education or certain specific nuggets of knowledge regarding trivial details. One can be wise and display strong confidence. But it is a hallmark of wisdom that it disciplines and conquers pride.
Pride and confidence are not the same, in that confidence may exist without a dark side to it, whereas pride by its very deepest nature must carry with it aspects of an injurious outcome. Confidence by itself does not injure, in fact it may heal. Whereas proud confidence delivers an insult and wipes away any vestige of wisdom that might otherwise be a part of confident knowledge.
If one prays for and begins to receive any wisdom at all, the first likely temptation one must face will be the issue of personal pride. And it is here where too many fail their first step and are never granted any further ones from the Father. Wisdom requires humility, and pride and humility cannot exist in unison. Many a righteous man attempts to gain wisdom only to sidetrack themselves unto the path of personal pride; they become less wise and more a Pharisee the likes of which Jesus offered more than a few harsh words.
There is beauty inside the inspiration that brings art, and there is beauty in experiencing good and true art. But there can also be a torment for an artist between the inspiration, creation, production, and distribution of artworks. It can come in many forms such as; undue criticism, undue adulation, emotionally dissonant audience reactions, audience projection, hijacking of the art, and so many more. But perhaps one of the hardest torments is sometimes referred to as “crickets” – (US slang, humorous or derisive) Absolute silence; no communication. Derived from the cinematic metaphor of chirping crickets at night, signaling (otherwise) complete quiet. May be used alone or in metaphorically descriptive phrases.
Crickets is especially galling in the modern digital age because the ability to witness “successful” art releases is enhanced to an often ridiculous degree. Things which can and do “go viral” and achieve literally world wide notice at the speed of light can often leave someone scratching their head. I have been in that emotional state a time or two during the past decade (a slight under-exaggeration which is itself an illogical thing to say). And I find that the only genuine escape from a sense of futility when encountering crickets is to treat that beautiful sound IDENTICALLY to the way I treat accolade or notice.
In the end, Homer said that the journey was the essential thing rather than any destination achieved or missed. That to commit the act of moving toward something was more important in the end than any outcome of the movement (certainly true of the human digestive tract). And this is the only genuine escape for any artist who begins to listen to applause or to crickets and have it effect the next artwork.
Do I wish my music had a larger audience? Of course. Do I feel good if it is heard? Of course. Do I feel bad when it is lost like a tiny drop in a sea? Of course.
Should I allow any of that to stifle my next inspiration? – – Nope, and neither should you.